Motivation: Loud and Powerful

The year I was 39, I said to myself, if I start now, I could be at my goal weight by the time I turn 40.  I thought that would be great motivation, this far-off milestone, an excellent long-term goal.  Admirable, even.  Didn't Oprah do the same and reach her goal?  Couldn't I?   

The problem was that the date was so far away and first I had to get through Valentine's Day, Easter, spring break at home with the kids, three of my kids' birthdays, Memorial Day, my husband's birthday, Independence Day, a long summer with Dairy Queen Blizzards around every corner, Labor Day, Halloween, after Halloween (candy!  on clearance!  thy name is Evil!), Thanksgiving and Christmas.  And all the celebrations and consolations in between.

So, by the time the year month was half over, I abandoned my diet, defeated by the landmines of food challenges dotting the path.  And then, it was too late anyway, because if you are going to lose 75 pounds, you have to start way, way, way in advance. 

Then you think, well, what's the point now?  There's no way I can lose that much weight by my birthday.  At least I did.  And then I ate another pint of Ben & Jerry's Marsha Marsha Marshmallow ice cream in one sitting.

So much for the positive motivation of future happiness and success.

I'll tell you what motivation finally kicked me in the pants and left a shoe-shaped impression on my ample behind.  This picture.  (I've blurred out my cousin's wife because she doesn't know I'm the Amazing Shrinking Mom who is Dieting Naked on the world wide web.)  I had no idea I was so fat!  I really didn't.  But when my mom casually included this picture in her album of pictures from my grandmother's 100th birthday party, I nearly died of horror and disgust and self-loathing.  And did I mention horror?  And disgust?  And shock?

In order to work, motivation needs to be powerful, immediate and unforgettable.  And while that picture wasn't powerful enough to cause me to stop eating batches of homemade chocolate chip cookies, it was an excellent, irrefutable and unforgettable smack in the head.

And so I decided I needed to go on a diet.  I figured I'd go back to my local Weight Watchers where I'd had success the first time I joined.  (Though not so much the second, third and fourth times, but that's my problem, not the fault of Weight Watchers.  I just couldn't stay on program.) 

But we had a scheduling conflict, so I had to figure out something else.  I spent one night googling "PCOS" (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and remembered a link between PCOS and insulin resistance.  I googled some more and came up with the low-glycemic index way of eating.  I planned a start-date of the day after Easter. 

Then ClubMom asked me if I'd write a blog and I said, "Sure, how about a diet blog?" setting myself up for either fantastic success or ultimate failure.  I started the low-glycemic index diet, as planned, the day after Easter, even though my ClubMom blog didn't start until mid-May.  By then, I'd lost 16 pounds and realized the value of accountability and confession.  Until then, no one, other than my doctor, knew what the numbers on the scale said.

I guess the trick is to have immediate motivation, something powerful which will not let you squirm away when you feel like grabbing a donut instead of waiting for a bowl of old-fashioned oatmeal.  For instance, I knew I'd be embarrassed to show up fat at my twenty-year high school reunion, but that distant fear couldn't stop me from picking up a candy bar at the grocery store as a reward for pushing the heavy shopping cart up and down the aisles.

I need more than a whisper from the future.  I need a shout today.  Dieting out loud is the motivation I need to turn away from food that makes me fat. 

What is your immediate motivation?  It is powerful enough to shout to you today?

Comments

[B]

Good luck with it. I have been trying.My motivation would be.....well not sure really? Food for thought I suppose.

[JenniferB]

I might have found some motivation today. My 4 1/2 year old daughter was helping me fold a basket of clothes today -- just hers and mine. She would pick up something of hers and say "my shirt" and then pick up something of mine and say "mommy's BIIIIGGG" shirt" each and every time. I finally told her she was hurting my feelings, and that I knew my clothes were much bigger than her and her response was "sorry mommy, but your clothes are just way too big". I know she was just being honest, not malicious, but WOW. That one stung. And then I got an email from my cousin -- also early 30's and she was diagnosed with diabetes just after a family wedding in april. She immediately got off her bum and has been walking an hour a day (plus other stuff) and changed the way she eats and has lost 30 pounds already! We will all be getting together again for another family event next week and I am just praying that I won't be the next one diagnosed with diabetes. Yep, I think I have found motivation.

[Lorri]

My motivation is my health. I've lost 29 lbs so far (my current 2lb gain is from my period) and I feel so much better now that I'm lighter. My health has improved at least 80% since just a month ago. I have stopped taking ALL of my medications and do not even think about them anymore. I was sick since August 2005 and I will never give back my health due to poor eating habits and obesity. I know that's not the whole reason why I got sick, but obviously prayer and weight loss has helped tremendously.

My other motivation is to look good and feel better about myself. Now, if I can be in absolute love with my new Victoria's Secret panties then what else is around the corner for me?

One of my good friends has lost 60 lbs on Weight Watcher's and looks absolutely amazing! She's almost to goal...a couple pounds away. I had about 20 more lbs to lose than she did. I look at her and think to myself, "OMGosh...she has lost as much weight as I need to lose now and she looks amazing! Could I look that amazing, too?" It's definately motivation to see her go from a size 18 (tight) to a size 6. I've gone from a size 22 to 16. The change is definately motiviating!!!

[Sara]

This is the first time that I have seen this blog. I wish I would have seen it from the beginning. I have not been diagnosed with any problems but I can see them on the horizon. I too have had past success with Weight Watchers - but currently not able to attend. Juggling 2 children and a husband working a different shift than me - did I say 2 active children - dance, girl scouts, bowling. Anyway - those have been my excuses. But now, I have friends at work that know and I have to be careful around the 'friends' who don't pay attention to it. I have family who are diabetic so I know I am destined - but again I haven't been yet so it still qualifies as that far off fear. I gave up pop and my husband bought me a bike (my first of my very own at the age of 33 - I am so proud (isn't that silly) I ride by myself when I can as well as with the family) I can really tell a difference without the pop - plain water gets kind of boring but I drink it anyway. My work offers free bottled water so it works out great.

[Becki]

There is a picture of me at a family Christmas dinner where I look fatter than I could have imagined, but there it was. It hasn't spoken to me today, or recently, because I stuffed it in a drawer to muffle its little voice. It's time to let it out again.

[Adeventures In Babywearing]

I just got serious (again for the 100th time) to lose the baby weight, as "baby" is 9 months old now. I saw a picture taken over the weekend and I look puffy, and tired, and not "well." So, I have been doing pilates every day since and cutting out all the white stuff. Again, but with more kick in my butt right now and it feels GOOD. Already. Just a couple days in. Honestly after one day I already felt better.

[ann adams]

I think food is the most difficult addiction. We have to eat.

So far, the motivation just isn't consisently there. Perhaps it's a bottom I haven't yet reached.

[judy]

I want to be able to roll over in bed in one quick movement.

I no longer want to roll over in 'segments'.

[Daniella]

I enjoyed your blog, this is the first time reading it. I applaud every woman trying to get motivated. I lost 50 pounds and it took two years to do it. I have'nt stopped (that's how big I was) eating healthy and my motivation was my children. I didn't want my son thinking it was ok to be unhealthy and overweight. I excersie 3x a week and take my son with my and he walks the treadmill. I also showed him how to read nutrition labels to deteremine the healthier choice. With my whole family trying to eat healthy it makes it so much easier.

[Laura]

Having a daughter who is starting to be old enough to want to shop. I hate shopping now but I remember enjoying it when I was thin. I want to enjoy it again.

[Tammy]

My motivation is definitely all about improving my health. I've lost 50lbs, and have 50 more to go before I reach my goal. I want to be looking my best at the holidays this year.

While I'm doing great with my progress, I have noticed that not one person outside of my immediate family and my hairdresser have bothered to comment on my progress. Has this happened to you? I don't get it. Are other women really that jealous?

[Melissa]

My motivation was several-fold. 1. I turned 29, and knew that the older I got, the harder it would be to lose. 2. I went on a family vacation, and although I hadn't gained any weight recently, the pictures were horrifying! 3. I started a new position at work, so I'm in the public eye a lot more. 4. I have a 4-year-old, and I'd like to be around to see her grow up, thank you very much.

I started WW last August, and I've lost over 50 lbs. I have about that much left to go, but I'm taking it one day at a time. I recently competed in my town's annual two-mile walk for charity, and I'm thinking I might start doing this more often to keep me motivated to exercise.

[Laura/PinkFontGirl]

this is kinda not the same thing, but my motivation for not eating donuts when they show up nice and fresh at my work every morning at 9 on the dot? looking at the bumpy glazed raisin pastry ones and realizing that eating anything from that box will make my thighs lumpy like that. i've been bringing nutritious treats with me every day this week, instead of that junk. (shh..it actually makes me feel kinda superior to my donut-eating coworkers, the fact that i'm not giving in ;P)

[yksin]

My motivation is my health... but it didn't really turn into motivation until my mom died of complications of diabetes last November 29. That's what made the shift in me. Five years previous, I had been diagnosed as prediabetic. So I could follow in my mom's footsteps with years of bad health problems & a death earlier than needful unless I changed my path. Now I've changed it & there's no going back. I'm not "on a diet" -- what I've done is to make permanent changes to what my normal everyday diet is, & I've also become more physically active with walking, dancing (to playlists on my iPod, virtually every morning), & weights.

There's a part of me that very much believes that by getting healthy myself, I can in some part heal my mother too, for all to most people she's beyond healing. But I disagree. I think of her often, & when I pass by her picture in my apartment, I often say to her, See Mom, I'm taking care of myself -- just as I know you want me to.

[TerriB]

My motivation came from the doctor. He already had me on Lipitor and wanted to add yet another drug to bring down my still out of control triglycerides. I so desperately want off medication (if possible) and the thought of adding yet another made me take some action. I've been told to lose 26 lbs and in 2.5 months I've lost 8 lbs. This may not sound like much, but I'm only 4'10"! I too saw a picture of myself a few years back. I couldn't believe how ROUND I looked. I had no idea! Of course, I just got depressed over it and gained a few more pounds. Hopefully, I will meet my goal and keep it off. The thought of no drugs is highly motivating for me.

[Diann]

I just found your blog. I read a bunch of the entries and it has made me laugh from your great sense of humor and cry because it hits way too close to home. When I was 30 I suffered from gallbladder disease. My always direct doctor told me it was the "4 F" illness: affecting persons who were fair, female, fertile and fat. I was almost grateful for the illness despite having to go through surgery and live with a huge scar. Why? I thought this would finally motivate me to start eating healthier. Didn't work. Nor has shocking pictures and video which each time surprise me (I can't really be that fat, can I?) The fact that I am genetically predisposed for arthritis, hypertension, heart disease, and diabetes all scare me to death, but not enough to help me stop eating cookies. I've been a weight watchers member many times, lost a few pounds some of those times but never got even to my ten per cent goal weight. I think it's a great program because I like the sane approach to healthy eating guidelines, but after spending the last several years and hundreds of dollars on it I finally quit buying season passes to meetings. I could no longer justify wasting my family's money when I couldn't stay on the program. Last year I trained for months and walked in the breast cancer 3 day 60 mile walk, but quit walking afterward, first to heal my blisters and then just never got motivated to start up again. I have memberships at Curves and a health club. Attend curves occasionally but haven't been to the health club in years and keep meaning to stop the automatic monthly charge to my credit card. I went through years of fears that I would negatively influence my daughter who for now seems to eat mostly healthy and is a very attractive weight. But now that my son is overweight I see what damage I am doing to him each time I give in to his requests for high sugar snacks just so I can have an excuse to eat them, too. As I learned at weight watchers "I have all the resources I need" to lose weight and I have many things to motivate me (what would it be like to buy a bra in a regular department store, to buy clothes that didn't have an x after the number, to weigh less than my 6 ft. 3 in. husband (I am 5'4)?)I have even experienced positive results in the brief times I did eat healthier and lose weight, my knees quit hurting, my carpel tunnel nearly subsided, my GI system felt less junky. But even as I experienced these benefits I continued to think how deprived I was because I was not able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to, and for me to eat just one is to open the gate to eating it all. I have all the Geneen Roth books, have been to her seminars, have even joined related support groups. Been to group weight loss hypnosis. Tried attending OA and never felt like I could get what they were doing and didn't stick around long enough to really try. And many times I have tried that birthday trick (I'll start now and be the best ever by the time I'm 35, 40, etc. Now I see 50 coming up but far enough away that I could, at a safe pace, lose all the extra weight by then. But I've learned by now that that alone will not motivate me. I recently learned that my lab work is now showing signs of early diabetes. My doctor slapped my large belly and said "this isn't going to just go away." I hope someday, before I have put myself and my family through too much suffering from the inevitable medical problems, to find the answer to the motivation question.

[Kvetch]

My motivation is years of being unmotivated. My motivation is how eating healthy is really easy this time. My motivation is thinking that NEXT summer I will wear a swimsuit without a little skirt attached. I lost 1.2 lbs this week. More motivation.

[owlhaven]

I'm going to be 40 in 11 months, and I would love to be 'normal' weight by then. It's not that big a goal--15 pounds would put me in the normal weight range. But some days it feels far away--- like yesterday when during the course of the day I ate 5 choc chip cookies...They are sitting on the couter right now and still calling me...grrr....

[Marilyn]

I was reading Dr. Nancy Dunne's natural diet book for PCOS when I discovered her 14 tips for increasing your fertility. Here they are: stop junk food, eat whole foods, go organic, avoid genetically modified foods, balance your essential fats, minimize gluten grains, have plenty of fiber, reduce saturated fat, change your carbs, reduce alcohol, reduce stress, exercise, lose weight, reduce insulin resistance, check partner's fertility, and consider nutritional supplements.