Monday Morning Determination

Yesterday, I felt as fat as a cow.  A pregnant cow.  Interestingly enough, my emotional response was to want to eat my way through that feeling, and while I did purchase a bag of chocolate almonds (promising myself to eat only a single portion of the three in the bag), I eventually ate all of them while driving my car around enjoying my "time off."  (I shopped and ran errands and then went for a walk on a lovely walking trail I discovered yesterday.)  I was so annoyed with my behavior.

I decided that perhaps I need to read You on a Diet for inspiration and a kick-start.  I think that will be my strategy for this week.  It's been a long time since I read Gallop's The Low GI (Glycemic Index) Diet, and maybe I need a little tune-up. 

I got on the scale this morning, telling myself I felt so fat I probably weighed 175 (!) which is fairly amusing if you think about last year at this time when I weighed more than 200 pounds.  Funny how our perspective changes.  (While trying on clothing yesterday, I was really disgusted by my body as reflected back in the mirror . . . I think I've forgotten how my 226.4 pound body looked and I've grown used to my smaller, though flabby body, and have begun to fixate on my "problem areas" like the roll of fat that persists around my middle even though my legs are quite slim.) 

Anyway, the scale said 171, which is not my lowest weight of all time, but still a 55.4 pound loss.  I had really thought I'd gained five pounds from how I felt walking around in my body yesterday.

I'm still fat, not as fat as I once was, but still.  Fat.  And I'm going to lose twenty more pounds, no matter how long it takes. 

Monday morning resolution.  Do you have one?

Comments

[Jennifer]

Isn't self image a funny thing? When I lose my first ten pounds I'm feeling really cute! Then someone takes a picture of me, and I think, "Ack! I have a looong way to go!" Here you are so close to your goal weight (and to me 20 pounds is nuttin' honey) yet you still have days where you are disgusted with yourself. Those funny filters we see ourselves through baffle me.

[Vida]

After a week with children misbehaving, bronchitis, and a ruptured cyst, I am so thrilled to be feeling better that I'm going to keep eating fresh fruits and veggies and spending time outside. I just feel better when I eat better. And it's hard to be outside and do nothing. So my monday resolution is to enjoy my health!

[Kelli]

Mondays are my clean slates and I started this one fresh with a good breakfast and a great salad with salmon for lunch. Fajitas tonight, but just the healthy parts (no tortillas).
So let's all shake off that flabby feeling and get back in our good grooves.

[Iportion]

Be nicer to yourself

[Denise K.]

Funny how your writing often seems to reflect exactly the way I've been feeling about myself. Last year on May 1st I was having a baby (happy birthday, David!). I weighed 165 last July. Now, 25 pounds less, I feel fat and depressed when I eat "off my diet" for a day or two. And that makes me want to eat more. But I think the sugar in the treats also has something to do with it. Yesterday was a gorgeous day, and yet I felt cranky and had no energy. I think that's because of the food I ate on Sunday.
My Monday resolution is to not focus on the number on the scale but on the yummy healthy foods that I like and will be eating today. Foods that actually satisfy rather than creating the crave monster!

[LAURI]

MY MONDAY RESOULTION WAS TO RESTART MY EXERCISING AGAIN. AND I DID. I WALKED 3 MILES YESTERDAY. THAT IS ALSO THE DAY I CLEAN THE HOUSE SO, I COUNT THAT AS EXERCISING AS WELL. GOOD DAY FOR ME.

[SaraB]

This week I'm going to try and get the sleep I've been needing! YOU on a diet is a great book - I've been reading it in pieces. Such a light on how to understand why you feel the way you do, and what your body needs. Hope you get to feeling svelte again soon!

[LeeAnn]

I can't believe how everything you write sounds like the way I am feeling!!! I feel the same way! I am still flabby and I just can't stand it. I can't stand grabbing it, but I always remember that it used to be 3x the size it is now. What is our problem. But yes, I AM going to lose those last 20 pounds this year!!!!!

[Pauline]

hi there
i have just found your site :O) it is nice to know that there are others out there that feel the same :O)
i would like to be able to get out of bed very early so that i could exercise but totally lack in motivation -any ideas??? i also need to lose 15kg (i think 30pounds??)
anyway shall be thinking of you on your quest and i continue with mine to get out of bed! :O)
kind thoughts pauline in au

[Sandy McCann]

I am sorry you are feeling the way you are...sorry cause I understand it all too well....and it's no fun:(

I am still trying to figure out how to get the scale moving again. However I am also trying to STAY FOCUSED (emphasis for me) on the results. I tend to easily build muscle and so my shape continues to improve and I think that I am losing fat and building muscle...heck I know I am! So, if my weight on ths scale stays the same but my muscles are bigger...well I am still actually losing, right!

[MJ]

I've had a rough couple weeks but I'm getting back in the saddle this week. My Monday Morning Resolution is to get my exercise streak going again!

[Carrie]

Hi Melodee,
I so relate to your post, I wanted to share what I am reading for inspiration ( aside from your blog :)) It is called The Beck Diet- and it is not a diet book, it doesn't tell you how to eat, it tells you how to think or better how to talk to yourself about how you eat. It was written by Judith Beck, the daughter of the man who developed Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I think you would like it.
Good luck-
Carrie ( by the way, hello- as this is the first time I have posted.:) )