The Diet Naked Blog

Official Thursday Weigh-In

Oh no! 

Oh yes!  This morning, when I stepped on the scale, very bad news appeared.  Very.  Bad.  As in 175 pounds . . . uh, no thank you.  I refuse to weigh 175 pounds again.

I really, really, really did not want to confess that weight here and thought of some handy excuses: 

1)  I was fully clothed.
2)  My rings are tight, proof of water retention.
3)  This was my birthday week.  (Pizza, cookies, ice cream cake, garlic mashed potatoes . . .)

But you know what?  Excuses won't make me weigh less.  The only thing that will change this awful fact is action.

(Have you figured out that I am the world's worst Weight Watcher?  I signed up and yet I have discovered if you do not actually count points, you will gain weight.)

Inside my head, an alarm goes off when I decide to count points or calories.  The very idea of being constrained, of being required to record what I am about to eat triggers this self-destructive, crazy impulse to cheat.  And one cheat leads to another cheat and pretty soon I weigh 175 pounds.

Furthermore when I try to "diet" following a conventional diet and allow myself to eat portion-controlled amounts of anything, I spiral out of control.  When I eat anything refined or containing sugar and white flour I only want to eat more and more and more.  This is just a fact of my life. 

And so . . . I must go back to what worked for me.  (I may check out to how Weight Watchers handles its "Core" program . . . perhaps I will be able to do that without messing with my delicate psyche.  I don't know.) 

I am going to eat a low-glycemic index diet.  I am going to eat every two or three hours.  I am going to stop eating in response to that "what can I eat, what can I eat, what can I eat" chant in my head.

Because next week, I absolutely cannot, will not, refuse to be 175 still.

What I know for sure

Here's what I know for sure:  the idea of ice cream cake from Dairy Queen is better than the actual ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.   (So why did I eat two pieces?  Just to confirm what I knew already?)

(Today was my birthday . . . well, yesterday was my birthday.)

And I also know this:  when I eat junk, I feel junky.

Been there, done that

How about you?  Have you ever had a closet full of clothes you couldn't wear?  And you couldn't bear to buy the size clothing you actually needed?  Oh boy, have I been there, done that.  (That is how I ended up wearing all black to church on Easter morning . . . )

I love how Y writes about this in her blog, Joy Unexpected.  (She doesn't know me.  I just love her honest writing about body issues.)

Official Thursday Weigh-In

Hi everyone.  Thank you so much for your amazing and supportive comments in the post below.  You almost made me cry with relief and gratitude. 

Since my late-night freak-out, I've been more in control, on-program and all that good stuff.  Today, I weigh in at 170 pounds.  (I am consistent, if nothing else.)

How are you doing?  Be accountable and weigh in now. 

Falling down and getting back up again

I am floundering.

I am dismayed.

I am discouraged.

Losing weight following the low-glycemic index was so easy.  Avoid sugar and its evil twin, enriched white flour, and embrace whole grains, lean proteins, fruits and vegetables and lose weight.  It worked.  It worked until it stopped working and now I am supposed to cut my portions down to teeny weeny microscopic size in order to lose more weight.

I am allowed 21 Weight Watchers points.  Yesterday started off well enough.  I had a bowl of old-fashioned oatmeal with a tablespoon of Craisins.  At lunch, I had six Triscuits, a piece of string cheese and a pack of Apple Crisps.   As a snack, I had a Nutrigrain waffle and a teaspoon of organic, sugar-free peanut butter. 

At dinner, I had a salad with a can of water-packed Albacore tuna.  I followed that up with a bowl of cooked broccoli.

After dinner is where calamity struck.  I ate pack after pack of Apple Crisps and Strawberry and Banana Crisps.   It was like the old, fat days when I couldn't stop myself.   I ate two granola bars, the ones with two bars in each package (Nature Valley).   Heck, I may have eaten three packages.  I don't know at this point.  It was a feeding frenzy.  I dug into the 100-calorie pack snacks for my son's lunch, something with Reese's pieces and cereal.   I had two.  I think.  I quit journaling the second I veered from the Weight Watchers path.

I was out of control. 

Now, I do know strategies for handling that situation . . . change scenery, keep your hands busy, take a bath, read a book, go to bed . . . but I was working online and I couldn't--or didn't--stop myself.  I needed a big pack of gum, but I don't even have that handy.

I went to bed hating myself, of course, and feeling as fat as ever.  I was surprised I could zip up my size 12 jeans this morning.

Events like that make me feel alone.  I feel like a failure, like something is wrong with me.  Then I want to blame.  I blame the situation, blame my hormones, blame diets themselves.  (Do calorie-restricted diets make me lose my mind?) 

However, I am responsible.  I am.  I started my morning right, with a bowl of old-fashioned oatmeal.  I am drinking my water.  I will eat a salad at lunchtime.  I will exercise tonight.  I will make reasonable choices and I will journal them in the Weight Watchers online food tracker.

I guess I wonder if it's worth it to me . . . I will have to be constantly vigilant to lose more weight and to maintain that loss.  Unless, of course, I exercise a whole lot more and frankly, I'm not sure how I could manage that now that I'm working full-time (from home) and managing my household and four children.  Some people do . . . and I have no idea how.  My grit and determination are running out, I'm afraid.

But that will not stop me from doing the right thing, making the right choice, and incorporating more trite slogans in my blog.  Just do it. 

Exercise Streak

My exercise streak ended today.  I made it 18 days in a row . . . so tomorrow, a new streak begins.

Here are the reasons I exercise:

1.  I want to maintain my weight loss.
2.  I want to lose more weight.
3.  I like being able to walk without growing breathless.
4.  I want to look better in my clothes.
5.  I want my heart and lungs to be healthy.
6.  I like how I feel when I'm in good shape.
7.  Exercise helps me sleep well.

And here are 20 more reasons you should exercise. 

Substitute Snacks

Have a craving?  Check out this fun tool called "Craving 911."

Official Thursday Weigh-In

I weigh 170 today.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 

Really, what can I do but laugh?  It's better than crying. 

Here's what happened this week:

1.  I spent hours preparing for out-of-town company.
2.  I decided not to count points until the company was gone.
3.  I didn't lose weight.

I'm going to count points again, though, get back on track and all that good stuff. 

I want to write about why "diets don't work" as soon as I carve out some time.  This is my 11-hour work-day, however, so it will probably not be today.

How are you doing?  Weigh in now.   (Oh, and at this point, I have no Diet Naked Team Roster on this site.  Let's take a vote:  Do you want me to maintain a Diet Naked Team list on the sidebar?  Or is it enough for you to leave your actual weight (starting and current) in the comments section?  I am all about helping you lose weight!)

Want to be on the Diet Naked blogroll?

Leave the URL for your blog in the comment section if you'd like to be listed on the Diet Naked blogroll.  Thanks!

Checking in

Some college friends I haven't seen in nineteen years came through town today.  It was so nice to worry more about the condition of my kitchen floors (deplorable!) than about the size of my pants.

Not that I am content with the size of my pants, but still. 

The exercise streak continues!  I started on January 1 . . . haven't missed a day yet.  My standard routine is 30 minutes of cardio on my bike followed by ab work, push-ups and reverse push-ups for triceps.  Throw in a few lunges and call it good.  I had to stop walking in the mornings because of my job that goes until midnight four nights a week . . . I just couldn't cope with the lack of sleep.  I do miss walking--I think it's an excellent work-out, so I am looking forward to longer days.   When daylight last longer, I'll be able to walk in the evenings.

How's your exercise streak going?  Or, if you aren't streaking, how's your exercise routine?  Are you staying active?