Dear Five Pounds,
Look, I know exactly how much you weigh: I've purchased my share of five pound bags of sugar over my chubby lifetime. You're not really that big, you know, not compared to my 5-year old daughter.
Yet, Five Pounds, when you appear on the scale, you ruin my day. You change the way I look at myself. My jeans fit tighter. I remind myself all day that I have gained weight. I'm moodier when you're around, down on myself, critical of my lapse of control.
My friends can't tell when you're here, Five Pounds. The same pants zip up. My taste in novels and jokes and television shows remains the same. But with Five Pounds clinging to me, discouragement settles over me like a gloomy fog.
You're only Five Pounds. You're less then three percent of my body weight. So why do you have so much power over me?
If you disappeared instead of appeared, I would be dancing a celebratory jig. Five Pounds . . . you mean too much to me. It's unhealthy and a little obsessive. I loathe your arrival and cheer your departure.
Five Pounds, please go and don't come back. (We can no longer be friends.)
I mean it. (And take your snacks with you.)
Ditto!
Amen!
I mean it too!@!!!!
Posted by: Michelle in Mx | February 18, 2008 at 11:32 PM
I have Five Pounds's sibling hovering in my body. I can so feel your pain.
Posted by: Val | February 19, 2008 at 03:12 AM
I am right there with you. Though my weight gain was 4 tenths of a pound. Sooo insignificant yet so powerful. I have had a really poor last two weeks and the gain was a factor. Why do we do this to ourselves. If I had lost 4/10 of a pound I would think it was so small but a gain of any amount is bad. Hang in there. The WW meetings have helped me so I am counting on them again.
Posted by: Carol | February 19, 2008 at 05:32 AM
great letter! I need to write a similar one to the extra pounds hanging on to me as well!!
Posted by: workout mommy | February 19, 2008 at 06:50 AM
great letter! I need to write a similar one to the extra pounds hanging on to me as well!!
Posted by: workout mommy | February 19, 2008 at 06:51 AM
Great letter! I can completely relate to it and totally agree with every word you said.
Posted by: Dev | February 19, 2008 at 07:03 AM
Truer words were never spoken.
Posted by: Roxie | February 19, 2008 at 07:09 AM
Yes! It's so hard to answer the question "how are you doing" when I'm waiting in line to weigh in - because that scale will dictate how the rest of my night (and part of the next day) go. How dare that number have so much influence over us!
Five pounds begone!
Posted by: Melissa | February 19, 2008 at 07:33 AM
You are so witty! I love the letter and wholeheartedly agree!
Be gone!
Posted by: Cindy (aka kini) | February 19, 2008 at 01:06 PM
I wish it was that easy! I recently packed on an extra 6 pounds too, and it is so frustrating to be upset over such a small amount!
Posted by: lovelines | February 19, 2008 at 04:20 PM
I am currently composing my treatise titled "Ode to Forty Pounds of Flab"...just kidding. I fully agree with you. It's amazing how that number can make or our break our day.
Posted by: Missie | February 19, 2008 at 04:50 PM
Oh I so agree with you...lol! I had a bad few days this week, recorded on my blog and I have gained 5lbs just like that :-(
Thanks to a thyroid disease just looking ata piece of cake will do that to me. But I am back on the straight & narrow for 2 days and soon that 5lbs will be history - AGAIN!
Posted by: Sarah | February 21, 2008 at 01:58 PM
you are so hilarious! you are such a fabulous writer.
and a motivator! I have an hour, and a kid or two! I am going to try that "walking" thing you speak of!!
Posted by: becca | February 21, 2008 at 09:43 PM