Hey, I know, where have I been? Truthfully, I've been dealing with stress by overeating, which is stupid. This time of year should be all about fresh strawberries and sunshine, but we are in the midst of some major life changes which make my 10-year old son sob and make me want to eat something smooth and creamy.
Yeah, I'm not going to weigh in tomorrow because I just can't bear it. I know that I am gaining weight from how my clothes fit and while it is completely unacceptable to me, my behavior and my thoughts are not in alignment. Sigh.
I am, however, continuing to exercise this month. After my first two days of walking, I hobbled around the house, wincing and complaining. It's remarkable how quickly you can get past that if you just keep moving. I'm so happy to be walking outdoors in the lovely weather, although I'm conscious of my stomach. Isn't that crazy? All I can think about is how fat I look and that thought makes me want to eat something fattening.
I'm swirling in a whirlpool of bad choices.
I know that the past few months have been full of resolutions and plans and determination . . . but I am going to keep coming up with ideas until I get this ship turned around. (I am almost as large as a ship and I turn very slowly.) I am giving myself until July 1 and then no more nonsense. I'm going to monitor my diet again with the same obsessiveness I did when I began this journey over two years ago. I tell myself that June was all about exercise. July will be all about good food. Put them together by August 1 I will be back in control. I will.
And so, that's where I've been. I did intend to blog yesterday, but somehow got locked out of my blog. Technical difficulties.
So, it's an unofficial weigh-in day. Feel free to post your numbers or post your resolutions. I know I am not alone and that thought has given me strength many times before.
Chase the butterflies....
That is the advice I have given another good online friend of mine with an entirely different problem. Since hers relates to love in her life it perhaps makes more sense to suggest butterflies...but I think it applies here too...keep your chin up...and rather than stop and smell the roses (and have that picnic) keep walking...running...chasing the beauty of the elusive "butterflies" in life:)
You go girl!
(me...still "stuck" in the low 170's...not making all the choices I should but like you life often intrudes)
Posted by: Sandy McCann | June 26, 2008 at 05:56 AM
Well I seem to be maintaining! I weighed 218 this morning which is where I've been sitting for three weeks. I began at 252 in January and decided today I was coming clean on my own blog about my weight. It will help me move past this roadblock.
Im determined to budge this weight on down this week. Im excited about the possibilites!
Posted by: mrs darling | June 26, 2008 at 07:26 AM
Well, what to say. (Apart from "You know that over-eating doesn't really help." which I should post on my kitchen wall in high letters myself.) At least you're exercising again.
Me, I'm not really exercising, only a bit, and somehow I'm up two pounds. that surely can't be because of the tiny exceptions that I made, or the "not sleeping enough"-part, can it? Noooo, it's all water. For sure. *cough*
I've never understood people who say that they always lose weight in summer, I never do. But this year will be the exception!
Posted by: Susanne | June 26, 2008 at 08:23 AM
I weighed in at 153.5. I seem to be stuck right above hitting my goal weight. I jump between 152 and 154. I am working out a lot, but my eating has relaxed a lot as well. I guess I am just not ready to buckle down on my eating the way I would have to, to lose those last few pounds. I hope to be ready soon, though. The good news is, I bought size 8 shorts the other day. All that exercise is paying off.
Posted by: Karen | June 26, 2008 at 12:40 PM
Hey, this is Jennifer (used to blog at Sob'ah My Soul). I'm also experiencing a 15 pound relapse, a midlife crisis (ha!) a crisis of faith, and other stressful happenings. I'm reading you, glad I'm not alone, but very sorry you're struggling too. I came over here because I'm checking out your resource links. I'm taking my measurements and am going to start exercising FOR REAL. The only way I will be happy is if I'm healthy and yes, thinner. I have contemplated getting back on antidepressants, but I know that walking everyday will be just as effective AND it will help my body too. Now to just follow through!
Posted by: Jennifer | June 27, 2008 at 02:23 PM
Hi Mel, I have not left a comment for you in forever, but still read both of your blogs faithfully. I just wanted to share with you that about 2 years ago, I lost about 45 lbs and got in shape. Slowly, I began to see the numbers on the scale creep back up and got more and more sporatic about my workouts. Recently, I picked up Prevention magazine and saw an article about joining the Prevention team and walking a marathon. For some reason, this clicked with me. It was a "goal" and I never knew you could walk a marathon. It has really motivated me, and I am back on track. The marathon I am walking is in Dallas on December 14 but there are several in other areas. You can go to the Prevention website to check it out. You can also sign up to walk a half marathon. The website will print out your training schedule for you. Just a thought, it helped me.
Posted by: Kim | June 28, 2008 at 03:29 PM
You are doing well, taking one step at a time to get back on track. I know you'll be back down in no time. Will be praying about your major life stresses. Those are never helpful when you are trying to incorporate healthy habits.
Posted by: MamaBearJune | June 29, 2008 at 01:29 AM
You are doing well, taking one step at a time to get back on track. I know you'll be back down in no time. Will be praying about your major life stresses. Those are never helpful when you are trying to incorporate healthy habits.
Posted by: MamaBearJune | June 29, 2008 at 01:31 AM
Ah Mel, I can so relate. I got down to 170 from 207. I've now crept back up to 192 or so. I'm just sick about it. Stresses in finances, faith, and family have conspired to destroy my efforts. I recognize the need to find a better stress outlet than eating. In fact, I felt that I had! But, my old nemesis reared its ugly head...and my pants all fit tight again. This is completely unacceptable for me. I'm not even going to sit here and say, "I'm going to start journaling again, and get out there and walk the dog, and maybe even hit the gym." You know why? Because if I say it, and I don't do it, it's more to beat myself up about.
Posted by: Claire in CA, USA | June 29, 2008 at 12:45 PM
Yo Mel - I feel your pain. I love to overeat in the face of stress - yeah, why is it when we feel huge we just want to eat MORE?
Have you considered just doing a little WW point-tracking for awhile, to get yourself back in the mindset of healthy eating? When I am tracking faithfully, I find that I make much healthier choices b/c I can eat more stuff that way!! Just a thought - I know you don't really like feeling restricted like that but if I think about it as what CAN I eat, rather than what CAN'T I eat, it works a lot better.
I'm at 147. Twelve from goal. I am losing really slowly, despite working out like a fiend and tracking but this week I am adding more protein and less carbs. Perhaps that will help! Anyway - take care and don't beat on yourself. Just make the decision and do it - just like you've done it before. You already know that you can do it and be successful.
Posted by: breckgirl | June 30, 2008 at 09:14 PM