Uncomfortable

I didn't weigh in today.  Had to get up early and get all the kids off to Vacation Bible School by 8:40 a.m. 

* * *

I'm at that stage of chubbiness where I can't find anything to wear.  I'm self-conscious about the roll of fat around my middle.  I am an "apple," roundest at the mid-section.  (I was grateful to have found a stash of size 14 pants that didn't get donated because I thought they were "too nice" to give away last year.   Now I have something to wear while I whittle these pounds off my body again.) 

Today I picked a red shirt, plenty big, but clingy at the fat rolls.  Freaked out by my flabby sides, I chose a "body shaper" to wear under it, a constricting garment designed to smooth out the fat.  And while I chose to believe that the shaper did its magic, I didn't really study myself in the mirror, so perhaps it was a mental trick.

By the time I dropped off the kids and returned from the grocery store, I could hardly wait to rip off that undergarment.  I thought to myself how unique this type of torture is to women.  Do ordinary overweight men wear girdles or complicated waist shapers that cause underwire bra-induced armpit pain by the end of the day?  I think not.  They also opt out of painful footwear, for the most part.

I have no conclusions, just wonderment that we women endure discomfort in our effort to camouflage our bodies, blend in and appear a particular way.

It kind of makes me look forward to being old and infirm when I can wear a long flannel nightgown all day and no one will think any less of me.  (Truth be told, no one cares as much as I do about how I look.)

Comments

[Sandy McCann]

That is one thing I DO like about myself! I do NOT opt in on the whole women's clothing/shoes thing...and no make-up EVER for me!

I have work a light undergarment to help a dress "hang right" but nothing that caused discomfort....

...so yea...why DO women wear that stuff???

[Tena]

You are so right, no one else really cares how we look. But we know, being girls, and how girls can be mean, that someone will see us and make some petty little comment. It is sad, but true.

[She-Ra]

I have learned over the past two summers, to pack shorts that are loose because by the end of the trip, nothing fits. Driving thousands of miles in too-tight pants - not fun.

I spend every july and august stuffing my face and every september - may trying to work it all back off.

I wonder when I'll learn to just eat less on vacation rather than packing along extra fat clothes...

[mrs darling]

On the first of July you vowed to weigh and report every day. It seems to be helping you. You have steadily lost. But you havent reported now for a couple of days. I hope that doesnt mean that you aren't paying close attention. In fact out of the 9 days of July you have only checked in 4 times. I know you're incredibly busy but I want you to get this weight off in the worst way. I owe my weight loss to you and now I want to see you succeed!

How about a weight update?

[amy]

Good for you, losing some weight. I just got back from vacation and haven't weighed in yet, but I know from looking at myself in the mirror, and from the way my pants are fitting, I haven't lost weight.

I guess men do care less about their appearance, but I don't think that's a good thing. I am overweight, and while I want to lose weight to look better, I also want to lose weight to feel better and to be a good example to my kids. (On the keeping the weight off and staying healthy, not on the losing it). I'm not obsessing about looking perfect, I'm obessing about being a healthy weight -- I think it's different.

[Paige]

Oh, to spend all day in comfy pajamas.