The Diet Naked Blog

I am coming back here

. . . in a week or so.  I'm biding my time until then.

I realized with some horror that I will be seeing people Labor Day weekend who haven't seen me since I gained this noticeable weight.  At least it's noticeable to me.  And then I told myself that no one really cares and even if they do say, "oh, look, she's gained weight" do I care? 

Ultimately, no.  I mean, I'd rather look skinny and cute, but that's vanity speaking.  Plus, there's nothing that can be done about it now. 

Gaining back weight is the all-too-common experience of dieters, but no one talks about it.  That's why we always feel so alone when we can't zip up our favorite pair of jeans.  Gaining weight is an isolating experience, so for those of you on an upward trajectory, you are not alone.  And you don't have to keep gaining weight.

We don't have to be statistics.  We can choose to lose.  (Gah.  I sound like a cheerleader now.  Stop me before I get super-cheesy.  Mmmm, cheese.)

Stress + sugar = Fat Mel

Part of me wants to tell you about the stupid things I have been eating.  Like Cinnamon Crunch cereal.  It's pure sugar which I know makes me fat, but still.  I ate it.  (Yes, I know it shouldn't be in our house, but I didn't purchase it.  And besides, I don't have to eat things because I see them.  But I do sometimes, especially late at night.  And, oh, by the way, I work until midnight every night.  DANGER!)

The other part of me knows that telling you about unhealthy foods isn't productive and might make you think, "Mmmm, ice cream" which would be bad. 

I did eat some good foods today:  salad and tuna and egg-whites and vegetables.  But I ate things I shouldn't have eaten.  Why?  Many reasons, but I think that I am eating because I can, because I haven't committed to not eating, because I haven't "started."  I am so all or nothing and I know that's bad.  But hey, it worked for me once.  That personality trait can work for me again.

Someone commented about the term "being on a diet" as opposed to "changing your lifestyle."  When I talk about the beginning of my "diet" in April 2006, I really do mean "changing my lifestyle" because I did not intend to make temporary changes.  The changes stuck, too, for almost two years.  And then . . . I fell apart.

I don't think I realized how many stressors converged last January.  My husband contemplated a job change (which he eventually made in July).  But I couldn't tell anyone about it at all, nor discuss how tough it was for him to decide.  My hours switched from part-time to full-time.  I traveled out of state twice.

These bigger things added to the regular smaller things (raising four children, homeschooling two of them, babysitting every morning, running a household) stressed me out.  I no longer had a convenient time to exercise . . . without exercise, the stress was worse . . . and I turned to my old frenemy, food. 

And so, it is what it is.  I can map it out, see where I've been, see how far off-track I am and now, rechart a course.  Despite my current horrible choices, I know that I can do the right thing, eat the right things and get back into my size 12 clothes.  I also want to weight train this time around and get my body stronger. 

School starts in a couple of weeks and I promise myself that I will not squander those kindergarten-hours while my daughter's in school.  I am going to work out every morning and ban sugar and flour from my diet.  And I will be a Shrinking Mom once again.

Writing a diet blog is a lot more fun when you're losing weight instead of gaining weight.  Sometimes I think I should go to the doctor, but I know very well that my own out-of-control eating has caused me to gain weight, not a mysterious thyroid disorder or a rare disease.

I remember this feeling right before I started my original diet in April of 2006.  Sad, bloated, disgusted. . . and more.  And I also remember how quickly things turned around once I eliminated sugar and white flour from my diet.  I did it before.  I will do it again.

I'm gearing up.  I will leap from this lethargy and craziness into self-discipline and healthy eating when school starts in a little less than two weeks.

Still.  In the meantime, I feel like a fraud writing here.  It's embarrassing to gain back weight that you've lost.  People never say, "Hey, have you gained weight?" but I know they are thinking it. 

On the other hand, I do know that I am the same person no matter what size pants I'm wearing.  That's an important thing I've learned as I've lost and now gained weight.  I care deeply about the size of my pants but I'm pretty sure that my family and friends are rather indifferent.

Anyway, check out this strength training routine I heard about on the radio.  No equipment necessary.  I'll be back, even though I'm chubbier than I want to be.

Back!

I need a vacation from my vacation.

Meanwhile, here are a few photos.

Walking

Here's almost everything you ever wanted to know about walking. 

Meanwhile, you're saying, "Mel, what's up with all these short posts?"  Well, here's the deal.

These posts are a bookmark of sorts.  I've realized that I cannot pay attention to my diet, weight, body, waist circumference and the like right now.  I am barely managing to tread the water that is my life at the moment and not only have I fallen off the wagon, I have wagon tire-marks across my forehead. 

But I'm not done with this chapter, so I am putting a bookmark here.  I'm going to keep posting, even though I am admittedly a big fat failure at the moment!  I'm a statistic, one of those who gains weight after losing it.  I even bought some bigger pants.  (Oh, what horror.)

Very soon, though, school starts, my schedule will be more reasonable (the hours spread out evenly, instead of bunched into three days) and I am going to use the half-days that my daughter is in kindergarten to work out.  I intend to turn this thing around.

Meanwhile, bookmarks. 

Healthy recipes and more

I stumbled upon this website the other day.  Eatingwell.com has recipes galore and more.  As soon as I have time, I'm going to click every link over there and explore. 

May I recommend . . .

I really love the Mindless Eating website.  Check it out.

I may--or may not--have more time tomorrow for a proper post.  Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are always busy, as I pack 30 hours of work in those three days--and, oh yeah, I have four kids.  And tomorrow, a painter is coming to paint the living room and dining room and I had to remove everything from those rooms--AND BOY DO I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF.