The Diet Naked Blog

One thing leads to another

It all started with the cookie dough.  I mixed it up last week but Christmas came in such a hurry that I didn't get the cookies baked.  Until tonight. 

I told myself that I did not have to eat a cookie.  Cookies aren't the boss of me.  Who needs cookies? 

But I broke off the top of a Christmas-tree shaped cookie, popped it in my mouth and one thing led to another and pretty soon my stomach actually hurt, like an alarm ringing.  Hello, it said, I do not like sugar, butter and flour!  Stop it!

Aside from that--(a-hem)--blip in the landscape, I have been happily and healthily eating the past two days.  I washed some lettuce and put it in Zip-loc bags.  I bought some albacore tuna.  I made sure the freezer has lots of frozen chicken tenderloins.  We have oranges and applies and almonds and cans of beans.   Being prepared is half the battle.

So, I'm ready.  And the cookies are gone.  (It was a small batch and I have teenagers.)

* * *

(Yesterday's weight was 210.8.  Today's was 209.  I'm going to be weighing myself frequently, continuing my Official Weigh-Ins on Thursdays.)

Let's begin

I went to bed last night ready to start fresh today.  So I stepped on the scale.  Scary. 

Then I ate properly all day and drank a lot of water.  I just couldn't wait until January 1 or 2 or 5. 

My husband is going on Jenny Craig.  I think it will be interesting to see what he'll be eating but I would much rather diet freelance.

If you are gearing up to start or renew a diet, what is your plan?  Are you going it alone or following a particular plan?  My friend, Barbara, is going to "do" the Fat Flush diet again.  She lost 90 pounds on that diet before, then gained back 10 and wants to lose 20 or 30.  I think.  Anyway, check out her blog for support and ideas.  (She has a link to her diet posts, I believe.)

When do you plan to start?  Or have your started already or never stopped?

Is it possible?

. . . to be fat and happy?

I asked myself that question when I saw it listed as someone's Facebook "status."  The two words do not go together: fat and happy.

But I have had so much happiness, even though I've been fat.  And I've had so much sorrow, even when I haven't been fat.

I do know this, though:  I am fat right now and I am not happy about that.  When I'm fat, I have much less room for "happy" in the picture.  "Fat" takes up so much of the emotional space in my head that "happy" gets shoved into a closet.

Or maybe that's just me.  I suppose I could learn to be fat and happy but I'd rather put all that psychic energy into just not being fat anymore.

Thoughts? 

Merry Christmas

. . . and happy holidays, too!

This blog will resume "diet-blogging" very shortly.  In the meantime, I'm remembering how much I like being thinner rather than thicker and how good it feels to feel good.  I'm even gearing up to give up Diet Coke.  (Seriously, that will be harder than giving up sugar.)

Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to one and all!  You've enriched my life and for that I am grateful.  What a present your presence here has been.  Thank you!

Ice Ice Baby

You can click on the photo to enlarge it.

We're having some wicked weather here in the Northwest. Fresh snow fell last night, topped by a thick layer of ice. And it's still snowing.

I'm just glad I don't have to go anywhere.

Also? I'm wearing jeans because the zipper reminds me that I cannot eat everything in the house. My full-button is broken. Alas.

However, I am really starting to look forward to a spartan diet plan, a new beginning in the New Year. Aren't you? And I am going to make a morning walk a priority once the kids get back into school and this snow all melts. (Here in the Northwest, that should happen by the time the kids get back into school unless this GLOBAL WARMING continues.)

In lieu of weighing in, I weigh in.

Want a cookie?  Oh wait, there's all gone.  How about some Chex Party Mix?  Oh wait, that's gone, too.  I'm not weighing in today, but I can guess by the snug fit of my jeans that I am not losing weight but gaining it. 

I'm in that limbo land of overeating Geneen Roth calls "The Last Supper" . . . you know, when you know that soon you're going to be eating raw vegetables and lean protein and drinking gallons of water and so you want to shovel processed carbs and milk chocolate and French fries into your mouth while you still can?

It's insanity, plain and simple.  Insanity that has me in its grip.  Sometimes, though, I have to be so sick of what I'm doing that I'm willing to release my grip on the donuts and step away from the ice cream and eat healthy foods because I am sick of feeling sick and getting fat.

Some of you will know exactly what I mean.  Some of you will judge.  That's okay.  I've been in both places--nodding my head in understanding and shaking my head in pity. 

So, I'm not weighing in today.  I know that not facing the scale only adds tinder to this wildfire.  I know.  But you can't make me weigh myself and I feel stubborn and immature about it, even though I know how ridiculous it is to avoid the scale as if that lessens the damage caused by too many calories.

I am going to be working with a nutritionist-type person (I'm not sure what to call him quite yet) and I know that soon I will be following Rules and doing what I'm expected to do and being held accountable for my food choices.  Great, right?  Meanwhile, the very thought sends me into an eating frenzy--though tonight, I thought, hey, you know, you could eat properly until you start the official thing.  Duh, right?

Okay, well, enough rambling.  Check in if you want, if you need.  Hang on if you're waiting until January 5 (the first Monday in January).  Hope is not lost.

p.s.  This week I have had a low-grade virus of some sort, just enough to make my throat tickle which makes me cough.  The weather's been frightful--and the kids have been either on "late start" for school or Snow Days--and my kindergartner hasn't had school at all.  When I'm already balancing on a tight-rope, these events make me wobble.  And. . . of course, it's already that premenstrual time of the month.  Woe is me.  :)

I ate

I ate because I was bored.  Then I was bored, full and full of regret. 

I ate because I was celebrating.  Afterward, I did not cheer.    

I ate because I spied food.  I wasn't even looking but it appeared like a hologram full of calories.  So I ate it.

I ate because everyone else was eating.  They stopped, but I could not.

I ate because I was watching a movie.  I was shocked to find the bag empty.  

I ate because I remembered the sensation of a particular food on my tongue.  I dreamed about eating it for days, then I ate and ate.  The memory was better than the aftermath.

I ate because I am an adult and no one told me no.  I need someone to tell me no.  I need to tell myself no.

I ate because the clock said it was dinner-time.  Food doesn't taste that great when you aren't even hungry.

I ate out of habit.  Sometimes routines should be broken.

I ate because I felt sad.  Afterward, I felt sad and fat.

I ate ice cream because my throat was sore.  Advil probably works better for throat pain.

I ate because I couldn't figure out another way to deal with anxiety.  Food asks no questions and tells no secrets--until eventually, my body tattles, even if I've eaten alone in the dark.

I ate because I was tired.  Then I was tired and disappointed with myself.

I ate because I was depressed.  Nothing is more depressing than being depressed and being unable to zip up your jeans.

I ate because I like to eat.  I discount the consequences, tell myself I don't care.  I do.  I care.

I ate because the holiday involves eating.  The day after the holiday involves self-recriminations.  So I ate to soothe myself.

I ate and ate and ate.  Most of the time, I wasn't hungry.  On the other hand, I'm never full.

Why did you eat?

* * *

(I am convinced that if I start to feel hungry and then respond by feeding myself with care, I will become healthy.)  See?  Two steps:

1)  Feel hungry.
2)  Feed body with healthy foods.

This formula is not magic and does not involve marshmallows, ice cream and homemade chocolate chip cookies with pecans. 

Awareness = The First Step

Official Thursday Weigh In

I'm abstaining today from weighing in.

But you can weigh in if you'd like!

( I'll weigh in again next Thursday, though.)

200

So, Oprah has turned into Orca, weighing all of 200 pounds.  The media is aghast.  Even the local news covered the Oprah story, showing her zaftig figure in purple sweat suit from her magazine.  (I was like: "Geez, slow news night, huh?")

I have never been so happy not to be Oprah or it would be my figure flashing across television screens all over America with commentary by (skinny!) news-people and entertainment reporters and random people commenting on the size of my waist with mock pity (when we all know they have no idea what it's like to watch yourself gain weight against your will).

Of course, Oprah brought this public attention on herself, which--hello, Diet Naked, who thought of it first?--is all a part of the plan to focus attention and force herself to follow through instead of eating a bag of potato chips in the darkened living room (I'm just saying), while counting on fancy camera-work and photo-shopping to get through the day.

Anyway, good for Oprah, proving that even a gazillion dollars will not prevent you from gaining weight when you are determined to eat something that will make you fat.  I feel marginally better about my chubby self because God knows I do not have a gazillion dollars and must depend on myself (and a little help from friends and the occasional professional) to burn some of this fat off my mid-section.

What do you think about Oprah's magazine article about gaining forty pounds?  (I have it: I read it and I recognized myself in parts of it--which is the magic of Oprah, right?  She's Every Woman, as I believe she proclaimed a few years ago.) 

(What's funny is that I can look at Oprah, notice she is heavier than before, yet still admire her work ethic, her accomplishments and think that she is attractive, just chubbier.  No big deal.  When I look at myself, though, and my own weight gain, I am not so forgiving or understanding.  I have GOT to learn to be kinder to myself.)

Flounder

I have never eaten flounder, as far as I know.  But flounder, the verb, is something I understand. 

I'm not on track to lose Ten Pounds by New Year's!  (Such a hopeful slogan, though, that I hope some of you are going to succeed.)  I do have a plan, though, to get back on track again and it involves some outside help.

I'll tell you about it soon. . . or eventually, anyway.  

Meanwhile, I'm doing that dumb thing where I think, "What do I want to eat?" and I can't think of exactly what it is (a sure sign that I'm not hungry but bored).  And then I eat something anyway. 

But, I bought some fat-free cottage cheese, some whole-wheat pretzels, some packaged salads, some fat-free feta cheese . . . because I haven't entirely lost my mind. 

Oh, and I have a give-away!  Hey, did you watch "The Biggest Loser" tonight?  They had a little segment about water bottles (and how you should Take the Pledge to stop using so many . . . by using a Brita water filter pitcher and Nalgene water bottles.) (Click the link and read about it more--you can sign up, "take the pledge" and help me win. . . something or other.)

And here's the give-away part:  I have two Brita filter pitchers to give away.  Each pitcher comes with two cool green Nalgene water bottles. 

To enter, leave a comment here.  I'll pick two winners. . . sooner or later.  (But don't expect to receive a package before Christmas.  I know my limitations!)

(And tomorrow, we'll talk about Oprah.  She's embarrassed by her weight gain, just like me!  Hey, Oprah + Mel = BFF!)