Reality Check

I was washing dishes, thinking.  I thought about my dad.  He died when he was 47 years old from malignant melanoma--that's skin cancer. 

The only time I can remember that he was skinny was after the chemotherapy he endured to cure Hodgkin's disease.  He threw up a lot and said that the cure was just about worse than the disease.  He went on to live less than twenty more years.  During those years he occasionally struggled to lose a few pounds and get into shape. 

But mostly, he was somewhat overweight.  He didn't take very good care of his body.

I didn't care about his weight.  I bet he wouldn't care about his weight either, given the reality that life is so short.

However, on the other hand, you never know how much time you have on this earth--and if I live to be 102, as my grandmother did, I would like to be as fit as possible as long as possible. 

I have to balance obsession with the size of my jeans with concern over my own health. 

I'll let you know if I find a magic wand to accomplish that task.

(Yes, I know I didn't post a weight.  Stepping on the scale this morning was a disappointment and I don't want to talk about it.  Let us never speak of it again.)

Comments

[MissKris]

I hear you, Mel. And you know, if you ever just need someone to 'talk' to who's been in the same spot themselves several times in her lifetime, drop me a line. I truly can identify with every step of your struggle.

[Jennifer]

I feel the same as you. Although I dropped one more pound this week, I am higher than I have ever been. I eat for comfort, yet the things I am trying to get away from are still there. One of these things is my dad's bladder cancer. He is going to have to have his bladder removed the day after Easter. He has the best attitude and he should be able to live a long time. But, I have made so many promises to myself that I will take good care of myself and eat right so that I might avoid some health problems that come with eating poorly and being at an unhealthy weight. But, the power that food has over me always seems to win. But, I am trying again, with new strength this time. I am trying to look at 5 pound losses instead of the big picture which just seems to daunting. It is nice to read your blog and know that I am not alone, I also want to be able to be held accountable in saying that I have either gained or lost. I am with you, I want to live a long life, as long as possible. I want to be on the Today show with someone showing my picture and saying I am 105 and I still do things every day. But, I feel like if I don't start putting better things into my body it might not happen. So, with spring here and the weather turning nicer, here's to hoping all of us will finally find what we need to succeed.

[Sam]

Yeah, I have actually been getting off my butt more this week than in the last couple months and yet, when I got on the scale this morning - it was very disappointing anf frustrating...It is hard to stay motivated when you think you are doing well but the scale says different...

[becca]

I miss dad. I do have fond memories of going to the bakery with him. I could not decide which yummy donut to decide on, and sometimes ended up with two donuts. I also got to have a chocolate milk.

Now, I know to start with oatmeal, or something involving flax seed.
Hovering around 217, 3 pounds more than my 20 pound loss, every day is a challenge.
Food is not love, or memories, but simply fuel for our bodies.

Make good choices. Hang in there.

[Jenna (Squishy!)]

*nods* Wearing smaller jeans is nice, but such a little bit of fluff when looking at the bigger picture. Personally, I'm just trying to live the best life that I can- and it includes being able to walk up a couple flights of stairs without feeling like I'm going to die. We can't ever be fit enough to guarantee that we'll live to a ripe, old age. But, hopefully we can be fit enough to milk every last wonderful experience out of this life, before the next. Fitness is a freedom, the ability to use your body for what adds to your happiness. It's a wonderful thing. :o )

I hope and pray that you and I both have lots of time, energy, and health to use in making a ton of good memories. *hugs*

[MamaBearJune]

Sending hugs with a reminder that the number on the scale is not who you are! :-)

I agree that none of us know how long we will live and just as eating everything under the sun in massive quantities is not healthy, neither is obsessing over our weight so much that we don't enjoy the days God has given us. It's definitely a struggle to find that balance. Wish it was easier DONE than said!

[meg]

I've been thinking alot about quality of life issues lately as well. There must be a big middle ground between hating our size and loving the ice cream. Thanks for the great post.

[Sandy McCann]

It IS balance that is the secret. My Paternal Grandfather died when I was 3 years old so I really never knew him...but I know his story. Always obese (what did they call it back in the early 1900's I wonder???) his doctor lectured him and finally got him to listen (he was around 60 at the time.) He went on a diet of healthy eating...lost weight and was doing very well! BUT, he gave up all his favorite comfort foods...and ICE CREAM!! Well, you say, that's still a good choice because he improved his health...true...but then...he came down with appendicitis...his appendix burst during surgery and he died.

Balancing healthy choices and a bit of indulgence...yes, the balance thing for sure!

[somebodys mother]

It is so disappointing when the scale doesn't reflect the weeks effort. Hang in there and focus on the enjoyment you are getting out of your exercise. The scale results will follow.

[MackAttack]

This is really profound. I guess we should all live as if we'll make it to 102 (what a feat!) Also, I have something for you on my blog.

[Biz]

Sending big hugs your way! Yes, it is all about the big picture - you have to live life to the fullest because we never know how long we'll be around.

Take long walks and eat ice cream every once in a while! :D

[Cristina]

Balancing life is tricky and some days are good and some are bad.
I have a similar experience to you and have gone up and down. I have been following you for a over a year now. And I can sympathize so much with what you are going through. I also could not get my groove back and stick to a diet! As much as I have tried over the last two years, there has been too much stress in my life for me to concentrate on weighing and measuring. But what I have done that I noticed is working is "working out" The last three months I have noticed a great change in my body. I switched it up at the gym, added more weight lifting and GASP! not gotten on the scale. To put it plainly The scale was making me nuts!!!!!! INSTEAD I have spent my energy on getting to the gym 6 days a week. Not on dieting. Some weeks I only manage 5 or 4 days. But my body has gotten tighter, my clothes are a little loser and I am stronger and feel better. I no longer feel guilty if I don't eat the right things and portions. Exercise is the key. If I continue to "just do it" Progress will be made little by little and I like my self along the way. The day will come when I can once again get on the scale and weigh and measure my food to lose the weight but for now I got to be happy with ME! :0) Good luck to you, I am rooting for you Mel.