My face is fat

I know.  This blog is on hiatus.  But where else can I lament the pudginess of my face?  Every photo I take I immediately erase--thank GOD for digital cameras.  No film was harmed in the taking of this image . . .

Also?  I heard last night on a promo for "The Biggest Loser":  "I did it.  I changed my life."  And I thought, 'No, actually, all you did was change your body.  Your life will be exactly as you left it when you went to The Ranch.'

Because this is what I know from my experience losing weight (and gaining it back again).  Your weight might change but your life is still your life.  Even when you're wearing size 12 pants (instead of size 18), you will have a fight with your husband, your children will bicker, and you will pay too much in taxes. 

Your weight does not equal your life.  Your weight is just the state of your body as you live your life.

Two different things. 

I'm fatter now than last year, but my life is pretty good. 

But I'm not really loving seeing my chubby face in the mirror.

Comments

[Alison]

Okay, I read this last night, watched TBL and then thought about your post as I went to sleep. I disagree with you (and I'm not being all grumpy and high and mighty). Whether Mike gains the weight back or he keeps it off, his experience is life changing. It will always be something he will look back on and learn from. No, his life problems aren't solved but with the sweat, pain, and tears, he has learned lessons that will change his life. Not necessarily his weight, but his life. So yes, if he thinks his weight loss is going to make his life perfect, he's wrong. If he can take everything he learned (emotionally and physically)and apply it to his life, he's on track.

[Jennifer]

I think sometime to help you stick to your diet, you need a little motivation.
There is a really cool application on the iPhone called WeightMirror. It actually will show you on your own photo what you can look like up to 50 Lbs lighter. It is so easy to use.
After using it I would recommend it to everyone!

[Biz]

I agree with you wholeheartedly! Your weight doesn't dictate your life.

My SIL is a person who "can't start losing weight" until:

she gets officially divorced
her basement gets redone
she sells her boat

you get the idea - life gets in the way, that's why it has to be lifestyle change and not a diet

Sending you hugs your way!

[Lora]

Oh, you are so right. I've been there, too. Lost weight, but my old life and problems were still there. No matter where we go, no matter what we do, we can't run away from ourselves. Good to hear that your life is good.

Too bad I found your blog after you decided to go on a hiatus. I do understand the need to drop something when life gets too busy. I'll be reading the archives and hope you come back some day.

[Carrie]

I am right there with you.

And I am so glad that I use this blog to find the ink to you others- so I caught your post.

Pasta Queen had a great entry about weight loss/gain and what is real.

I am working on eating healthy and not weighing myself- and trying to accept the reflection in the the mirror- even is it is chubbier than I ever planned on being. What I weigh is not what gives meaning to my life! (said defiantly, and with hope that with repetition it will feel true)

[Jill]

You are on my favorites list so I can quickly check back even though you said you were on hiatus, and tonight, reward! I had just started reading your blog when you stopped writing so it's nice to get a little post. I agree with you about "The Biggest Loser". I am happy for these people but they do seem to have lost sight of the fact that they completely suspended their lives and hid themselves away to get where they are. Also, I am sad to admit my disgust when they say if "I can do it than anyone can", because they clearly watched the show and didn't do it until they were on it. I am inspired when I see the physical transformation, it makes me want to look better too, but I have no illusions that what they did can somehow help me. Thanks again for the post!

[Eliza - Diets That Work]

Stick with it girl! From reading your blog it seems you've come a really long way, so congratulations first of all.

Don't let off days get you down and remember, the camera normally adds 20lbs anyway. A lot of the time some puffing up of the face is not fat gain. It could be something you're eating as part of the diet that's not agreeing with you and causing a reaction. I'd check that out but certainly don't be discouraged. Especially since you've lost all that weight before you've got the know-how to get back there and then some!

Keep at it and best of luck!

Eliza

[Susan a.k.a Happy Hag]

Agree and disagree with you here, Mel.

I too have been lots lighter and I must say that life is different ~ or it is one less thing to stress about anyway!

I do know when I was slimmer, I made WAY more moves on my husband, I spurred the economy by buying pretty clothes, I called & went out more with my friends. The problem with weight gain is that it is so slow and insidious: the afore mentioned things gradually disappear, pound by pound~hardly noticeable~as one by one the fun stuff in life slips away, to be replaced by "I'm just going to stay in and read" (supplemented by snacks). Add even more days of not wanting to go out and take an active part in living, insulate me from living the life I was meant to live.

Fat slowly turns into a ever-growing barrier that keeps me from doing the things I once did, with pleasure and happiness.

Look at it this way: my back side stomping away after an argument in a size 18 pant won't make him rue his words as much as a size 12 would! My kids may bicker, but I'll have the energy to take them outside to burn it off. There is no remedy for taxes though, alas!

Keep fighting the good fight!