What am I missing?

I am missing something important.  What is it?  What did I have then that I don't have now?

Think on these things.

Comments

[MB]

I've been trying to find that missing link for the past couple of years now. I'm hoping I find it soon, I don't know why it is hiding from me when I need it the most.

[Tacie]

You're busier now, right? A newish job? Up later than you used to be? Maybe you're missing sleep.

[Alisa]

I personally think it is your mind and your sleep schedule working against you. Being tired is a huge factor to overcome and it makes overcoming the mind factor even harder. This is one tired mom struggling along with you...hang in there.

[Barb]

Hope? Possibilities? I know I "fell off the healthy habits wagon" this past summer. Gained I don't know how much weight back because I am literally too terrified to jump on that scale. I think I would just keep jumping up and down on it until it breaks! It's a slow return to discipline for me too. I fear it's fear of not being able to lose again. And the fear of "I'm just going to fall off again and gain it all back, and then some" thought. Then I rationalize: "Maybe my body is just more comfortable being 60 pounds overweight?" How warped is that?!

[MissKris]

Lack of time to focus. Lack of hormones. Lack of nurturing yourself. Lack of forgiving yourself for being human

[Sarah]

I've been wondering that myself, a lot. I have a theory and I'll admit it's out there a little and only pertains to me because really I only know you in your online world. I think, for me, it has to do with the love of extremes or the way I feel when I clean a really messy closet or organize my very messy desk. Plugging along a pound a month at a weight loss plan is too mundane for me. I love the BIG change or the jump from one extreme to the other. I'm not the kind of girl that spends a few minutes each day maintaining order in my life. Just my theory but thought it might ring true for someone, I am slightly converted from this old mindset now but it is a boring and less dramatic everyday struggle. :)

[Maddiegirl]

That thing, I know what you mean. I lost 45 lbs and stopped dead in my tracks. Would love to lose some more, but I can't seem to get back on track. It's my mind messing with me, looking for excuses not to have to do the work, you know, like "you're fine", "you did it before, you'll do it again someday" or "just be happy with what you are" or the really bad one "you deserve a treat today". Anything to keep from doing the work. I'm struggling to get the mindset that I had while losing the weight back, and I know that if I can eat well for a few days, then the rewards will start to show up and hopefully, fingers crossed, I'll keep it up.

[Mrs. Damian Garcia]

I don't know Mel. Maybe you know how hard it is to keep up the good work. Maybe it really does not mean as much to you as you want it too. I have been asking myself these questions lately. How bad do I want this? Why do I want it? Is this a lifestyle change or is it just long enough to lose some weight? I find that I am just sick and tired of it all. I'm tired of hurting, tired of not working as hard as I used to, tired of not being the woman that I want to be. I am just fed up and I know that if this is just so I can fit into a size 10 again then I will ultimately fail. This has to be because I want it for the right reasons. So really, what are your reasons?

[Michelle]

Hey, you're not alone in this puzzel. Have a "missing" link here too.

I did see a diet plan on "The Doctors" show on TV today though. I'm ordering the book "The Flat Belly Diet"....that is my problem area, so I'm intrigued to see if it really works.

[laurie]

Sex!! I am sure that if I were getting more sex, I would be more motivated to lose weight. The only problem is, I dont want to have sex because I dont want my husband looking/touching my disgusting body!! A total vicious circle!!!

[MamaBearJune]

Are you following the ten easy steps to get fat? ;-)

[breckgirl]

Mel,

Here are my thoughts...not that you asked. Oh wait, you DID.

Make a decision. Keep the commitment to yourself. Be disciplined. Be willing to be uncomfortable, hungry and tired sometimes. Be willing to do what it takes. Be willing to try new things and ideas instead of staunchly adhering to what you believe is "the way." Be willing to deny yourself some things you may momentarily want, in order to make yourself a stronger, happier individual. Be kind to yourself and as Geneen Roth says, "act on your own behalf."

At least for me, the more I give in to my childish desires and self-pity, the worse I feel about myself and the shittier I treat myself and then I am stuck in that cycle of indulgence, SHAME, more indulgence, more SHAME - you get the picture.

You MUST make a decision to take the steps necessary to make yourself a happier individual, NO MATTER WHAT. If that means making healthier food choices, then do that with a eye toward being KIND to yourself, not to punish yourself. And avoid black and white thinking, Mel. Just because you ate cookies for breakfast doesn't mean the whole day is "shot" and it's a free for all. Shit, I can be really bad about that if I let myself be.

Well, I am doing well with my weight loss and exercise but what do you know, I am pregnant so I guess I am going to be GAININ' some pounds. That's okay - because I've already decided that I am going to keep working out and being kind to myself during my pregnancy, NO MATTER WHAT.

I so want the best for you, Mel. Take care, girl.