Smug

You know what I've realized post-weight gain?

There's nothing quite as repellent as a successful dieter who believes he or she has it all figured out.  Was that me?  Was I smug and so unaware?  Did I make people want to stab me in the temple back when the weight was melting off? 

I hereby vow that when I lose this weight (again), I will never ever bring up my weight loss in everyday conversation.  I will never suggest to someone that they do what I do.  I will never announce how many pounds I've lost.  I will never shake my head in pity or wonder why anyone would choose to stay overweight instead of just eating less and moving more.

Self-righteousness is annoying.  And that is not jealousy speaking but horror that maybe that's how I acted when I was wearing smaller pants.  

Humble pie has no calories, you know, so I don't mind eating it.

Comments

[MB]

I've eaten enough humble pie to last a lifetime. It's so hard to look at people who complimented me on my weight loss only to watch me gain it all back time and time again. UGGH!

[Lynne]

I think this is why I have hated Weight Watchers. The last few leaders have all bragged about their losses and expected applause every week. It made me want to smack them... Aren't you supposed to be working for me???

Be happy, but don't feel like you've mastered anything or hooked the gold ring... Humble pie is delicious, isn't it?

[teebopop]

Everyone who has lost weight and gained some (all) back, including me, feels humiliated. If you stop talking about how much you have lost, you will lose the encouragement from others. And you will forget to be proud of yourself at that moment. The more of those moments you can have (yeah! I lost again!!) the more you will have to help bolster you through the "damn, I gained a pound (or whatever)".

Never give up.

[Brenda Espy]

Wonderful point!! I have been on both sides of the fence, and I know exactly what you are talking about! Love the humble pie has no calories...that will make me smile all day!

[Nicole]

I know someone who is a bit like this. She won't ever tell anyone that she used to weigh 275 pounds, though she's now 5'7 and weighs 135. I don't think she does it to be rude, but I think people forget very quickly how much of a struggle it is to lose weight, especially if you've kept it off for a while. And if I was like that...and then gained the weight back...I would have to move to a different country. Talk about embarrassing. Better to just not be arrogant about it in the first place!

[sybil]

Good observation. I guess since I've been at this for what seems like my entire life, I know that no matter how well I might be doing at any given moment, I truly am just one bite away from a binge that doesn't stop. Some people think they have the answer - they have been cured - etc - but I'm not one of them. Don't get me wrong - I think I'm doing good and I've certainly made progress but experience tells me that without constant work and observation and evaluation - I can easily be 300 pounds again.

That's probably why I have a hard time parting with my bigger clothes....because even though I haven't worn many of them for 2+ years now, there is always the possibility that I will be that size again and will need them.

I'm with you....I hope I don't come across self-righteous about my fat loss. And, I hate humble pie.

[Chuck]

Hmmm. I'm not sure I see a lot of smugness from people who have lost weight in terms of their accomplishment; usually the worst thing is it eventually gets sort of boring, depending.

But methods? Absolutely with the smugness-growing operation. What worked for me MUST work for everyone, right? Because we're all so much alike. If you'd only do what I say...

I approached weight loss in a way that made sense to me, and I'm still baffled by people who don't approach it the same way (including you), but my tongue stays bitten. The second I think I have the answer I also think of someone for whom my solution would never work. I have to settle for wishing everyone well and watching my own waistline.

[Chibi Jeebs]

I caught myself a while back saying something to my other half about how "easy" it is: I stopped mid-sentence because I realized I sounded like a pompous ass, ESPECIALLY considering a) I gained back all the weight I lost (and then some), and b) I'm not exactly the picture of perfect health now. I so don't want to come across as a hypocritical know-it-all.

[Jen]

You are awesome.

[Sarah]

People noticing the weight loss was fun the first time around. The losing consumed me like eating had in the past. I wore the same outfit to weigh-ins and I looked forward to announcing my results to my friends and family cheering on. I had my routine and the second my routine was disturbed by life (selling and building a house, moving in with family while the house was finished) I slipped down the slippery slope and the embarrassment of a small gain left me completely devastated and unable to stop the fall. I gained it ALL back. 80 pounds in less than a year and it took me almost 4 years to try again. I think the fear of ending up back where I started is keeping me form losing the last half of the weight I need to. That was a miserable year for me and my humble pie. I keep telling my self I have three choices. One, keep trying to lose. Two, stay right where I am. Three, gain it all back. I chose number one.

[Ouida Gabriel]

I never once thought you were smug Mel. That is why I kept on reading your blog. I think that you are one of the most upfront and honest people in the world - seriously. What more could we ask for than your honesty? At least when you say for the 5th time in a month that you are going to "start over" and then you don't stick to it, I know that there is a kindred spirit out there. You are more honest about your life to your readers than I ever could be.

[Stephanie]

That's a great lesson to learn. I don't know whether you actually came across as self righteous, but I think we can all relate to having a bit of a smug feeling when we accomplish something.
BODA weight loss

[Derek]

Wow! This hits home. I was on such a high when I was losing, and I remember being smug.

It's very humbling to gain the weight back and to have to lose it again. It's not fun. You're like, "I already lost this twenty pounds once before."

Anyway, I think losing the weight again makes us stronger, and maybe makes us realize we need to be vigilant in managing our weight...for life.

[Jenks]

Why not share your success, you never know who it might encourage or inspire.

[R]

I do think I have learned some things along the way during my four weight loss periods in my life. However, when people tell me I look great, I always say, "I hope I can keep it off" and if they ask me how I have done something, I tell them that I don't think I have all the answers and also that the things that worked for me may not work for them (although I will share what I have found useful). I actually find the stories of weight regain very useful, because it reminds us all of how difficult and how much focus is required to maintain.

[Hiram]

Good diet and nutrition is not something you do once and then forget. It's a lifestyle that you have to maintain day in and day out. Keeping that in mind helps prevent the weight-loss ups and downs that we all experience.

[All Women Stalker]

Now that's the spirit! Don't mention your weight loss and people will notice more when you become sexier that ever :)

[MamaBearJune]

I think regaining weight is God's way of keeping us humble. And reminding us that it's not always easy and it can be be a HUGE struggle for us and for others. It helps make us more empathetic toward others who struggle.

I don't think I ever saw you as being smug. You've always been open and honest.

[Karen]

I believe that you should keep down the "diet talk". Everyone who is fat already knows it, and probably knows all the techniques out there. Maintaining a weight loss is hard work, so is keeping a household, but not many of us brag about loads of laundry and scrubbed toilets. I have been losing weight very slowly, so slowly, I think my friends have stopped noticing, which is good.