Avoiding the camera

Just some quick thoughts before bedtime.

A friend of mine died a week ago.  She was only 64 and had twelve children.  Last night, I watched a video her family posted on her blog showing my friend throughout her lifetime.  Sometimes she was thin, sometimes she was not.

But she was always smiling.

I imagine that her children and grandchildren and husband are grateful for every image they have of my friend.  They don't care what size pants she wore or if she looked fat.

I thought of all the times I have declined to have my picture taken with my family.  (Most recently, on Halloween.)  I just hate how I look in photos so much that I can't bear to let the camera capture my image.

Today, though, I was at the zoo with my daughter and the photographer said, "Let's take your picture!' and my impulse was to decline, knowing how much I would hate to see how I look.

But I said okay and posed with my daughter.  What if this were the last picture together? 

So, that's something to think about the next time someone pulls out a camera and I run and hide.

Too much time has passed without any evidence of me living my life because I'm too vain to be photographed at an unhappy weight.  It's silly, really.  I'm fat whether or not I appear in a photograph.

Comments

[Deborah]

I can relate to this. I have avoided cameras on and off over the years. It's quite obvious when you look through photographs.

My dad passed away last October and I remember realising that I had barely any photos of us over recent years. Because of me and how I felt about being photographed!

Deb

[MamaBearJune]

Very sobering thought, my friend! Glad you took the photo! Yeah, there are lots of photos that I really hate myself in, but the memories are still often precious!

[Jen]

I just come to realize this after reading your post. It's been a year and a half now since I had my second child and I havent got any pictures of me and my kids together. I only have pictures of them throughout the months. :(

[Evelyn]

Got tears in my eyes reading this. You are so right. I will think about this next time I try to shy away from the camera!

[stephanie]

Great post, Mel - How are you doing? Glad to see you are still occasionally posting here. I read your previous post and its comments and I agree with Kristen about that book "It Starts With Food." Read it, Mel. I've lost 25 pounds without really trying since reading that book and doing a "Whole 30," and basically just changing my "food lifestyle," if that makes sense. Do a Whole 30 - if you hate the results you can always go back to the old way! And I still occasionally indulge in my favorites but for about 80% of the time, I eat real clean with a focus on proteins and vegetables. Once I stopped eating sugar and processed carbs, I stopped craving them so much. Most of all, I had to make a decision to change, not just try. I'll try myself into the grave, but if I make a different choice, I am unstoppable. So are you, woman. Hang in - and have a Merry Christmas!!

[Gwen]

This is so mind blowing. When I lost all my excess weight in 2009, suddenly I was in family photos everywhere. Now that I've put most of it back on (again), there I am, absent from new family photos. That has to STOP. Talk about vanity. You really struck home for me. Than you! :)